Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Merry Mithras

Here I am in my homeland...about to flee it. I've been utterly fortunate to have an entire month away from any sort of stress (besides the illogical ones that occasionally swirl around inside my head). I've been home with family and enjoying myself very much.
A week in Colorado mainly visiting distant cousins I usually only see at family reunions gave me the chance to catch up with a high school buddy who now lives in Denver with his beautiful girlfriend. He and I partook of the festive cup in some classy joints and ended up in a diner exactly like the one in Pulp Fiction ("I love you Honey-Bunny") eating egg-based foods. It was great to see my friend out of the context of our hometown. He's happy and moving on in life and getting acting work. Hoorah. I'm very proud to say I'm still his friend. And god! he's gotta marry that girl. She's fantastic. So, there we are, Colorado was good all around... and lots of people walking around Denver smoke pipes...just thought I'd throw that in there.
Now I'm gonna rewind back to a few days after Christmas. My friend asked me a year ago to sing at her wedding, and I agreed. Over the course of the year everything panned out excellently and I was able to sing a song by the Welsh-born composer Ivor Novello, and Panis Angelicus by Cesar Frank. The bride was in the most beautiful dress that seemed to wrap up all her beauty and emit a light through all the folds in the fabric through the festive hall of worship. And hey, I didn't look too bad either! Her wedding was one that should be envied for years to come. Such a beautiful friend I have in every way.
I got to do lots of relaxing, a bit of reading (I'm trying to read Gone With The Wind...big endeavor) and driving around my mom's zippy red car. I get up in the mornings and worry about... nothing. Any thoughts about preparing for my move to London coming up, I've managed to compartmentalise and think about later. I've discovered some new music through my brother. I've bought some new cologne. I have new slippers I got for Christmas. My mom's fridge is full all the time ( we need to buy milk tomorrow, tho).
I went up to Ruidoso, New Mexico to spend time with my aunt and aunt. I've not been to their house since they've been together so it was great to be on their turf for once. We did some karaoke one night and did a bit of shopping one day. We took it easy and spent real time together. I had a weird time on the drive up to Ruidoso where I couldn't breathe well because of the change in altitude...slightly disconcerting, but didn't last very long. I got to lie down on a specialised massage bed at the healing center where my aunt works. heaven.

Last year I wrote a not about how homesick I was...and some of you read my ramblings.

My home isn't here anymore. My home has been Cardiff for the past four years, and my home is soon to become London.

I long for family and I want to keep them close to my heart as I know our flesh will fall away quite soon, but those who love me and whom I love know my heart is filled by their support in what I am pursuing.

I've never been able to claim all the credit for the fortune that comes my way. I believe in a benevolent creator who has a great deal to do with it, but whatever that force may be has embodied itself into the kindness of my family. The support of my mother - support without knowing how or why. As the pieces of my puzzle have come together she has been there with all her strength behind me. The wisdom of my father - each pearl of advice and story of his wild past, I hope to add to as his son, carrying on his name. The legacy of my grandmother, now departed, who's challenging words of guidance will never leave my memory. The faithfulness of my two brothers - their unconditional love in the face of our occasional disagreements. All these are the dearest to me because of their direct influence on my life and the blood that binds us.

I say all this because I'm accepting that my base may always be quite far from my family. My solace comes in the wonders of technology - the telephone, the internet, the uncanny speed of the jet-aeroplane.

I know it is now time for me to return to the UK. I've been watching British television shows online for the past four hours! Great excitement awaits on the other side of the pond and in the following weeks another enormous facet of all I've dreamed of will be unveiled.

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