"Just 4 more," the instructor gingerly spoke hoping to keep our faith in her workout rutine.
My muscles burn and my lungs pump gallons of air in and out of my nose and mouth. As the sweat beads around my hairline it gains weight and tickles my face as it splashes onto the imitation hardwood studio floor. Watching my body expand and contract in the mirror, I begin to think about the morning and afternoon I just experienced.
"You'll be gone for a long time," Patrick spoke as we hugged and said our good-byes.
All my years in the Lubbock Independant School District are over. All my life as a High School Student is over. I am leaving the town i've lived in all my life to travel across an ocean i've only crossed twice in my lifetime.
Depression finally hits me.
I've been able to go this long without any feelings of sorrow concerning my move. It was not, in fact, my move to college that sparked these feelings, because I don't leave for a few more weeks.
My friends are leaving me.
That's it.
But the difference is that they are a car's drive away.
More cost effective.
Shorter distance.
I don't wish, however that I had chosen a school in America. I'm very proud of myself and my accomplishments. I am just running in to reality.
The reality is that years will progress and my memories of high school will have that fuzzy edge like to that of old browning pictures your grandmother shows you (on multiple occasions).
My only hope is that I will be faithful to my emails and keep them flowing.
How well have I chosen my friendships?
Have I pointed blindly when selecting companions?
No.
Have I based relationships on shifting-sand-values?
No.
Then why should I be aprehensive?
Because this new experience is foreign. I've no model, no parameters to guage my successes. How will i manage my finances? How will I be able to keep my head in my studies enough to do well in school?
I don't know.
But isn't that refreshing - the "I don't know" aspect of life? I don't have to know. What wisdom would be gained if you knew the answers as soon as the question arose?
None.
Wisdom is based on experience.
Wisdom cannot be measured. I cannot be measured because each individual person has their own unique experiences.
This creates the grey area.
Ooh, the nasty nasty grey area.
Black and White people tend to see life through tunnelled goggles. As soon as they are presented with a question an answer is spouted off because it is either one way or the other. How many times have we all run into this? Too much.
What adventure is there in life if the answers are easy?
What do we have to say we've accomplished if the answers are easy?
How can we say that we are wise if the answers...
Eyes of children all around
Singing, laughing, gleeful eyes.
Eyes of adults to the ground
At loss of child-like mysteries.
Soon I will know what it feels like to leave all of my friends and begin amassing new ones in a foreign place.
I just hope to hold on to friendships and to not forsake the ones I love.
-Amor vincit omnia-
My muscles burn and my lungs pump gallons of air in and out of my nose and mouth. As the sweat beads around my hairline it gains weight and tickles my face as it splashes onto the imitation hardwood studio floor. Watching my body expand and contract in the mirror, I begin to think about the morning and afternoon I just experienced.
"You'll be gone for a long time," Patrick spoke as we hugged and said our good-byes.
All my years in the Lubbock Independant School District are over. All my life as a High School Student is over. I am leaving the town i've lived in all my life to travel across an ocean i've only crossed twice in my lifetime.
Depression finally hits me.
I've been able to go this long without any feelings of sorrow concerning my move. It was not, in fact, my move to college that sparked these feelings, because I don't leave for a few more weeks.
My friends are leaving me.
That's it.
But the difference is that they are a car's drive away.
More cost effective.
Shorter distance.
I don't wish, however that I had chosen a school in America. I'm very proud of myself and my accomplishments. I am just running in to reality.
The reality is that years will progress and my memories of high school will have that fuzzy edge like to that of old browning pictures your grandmother shows you (on multiple occasions).
My only hope is that I will be faithful to my emails and keep them flowing.
How well have I chosen my friendships?
Have I pointed blindly when selecting companions?
No.
Have I based relationships on shifting-sand-values?
No.
Then why should I be aprehensive?
Because this new experience is foreign. I've no model, no parameters to guage my successes. How will i manage my finances? How will I be able to keep my head in my studies enough to do well in school?
I don't know.
But isn't that refreshing - the "I don't know" aspect of life? I don't have to know. What wisdom would be gained if you knew the answers as soon as the question arose?
None.
Wisdom is based on experience.
Wisdom cannot be measured. I cannot be measured because each individual person has their own unique experiences.
This creates the grey area.
Ooh, the nasty nasty grey area.
Black and White people tend to see life through tunnelled goggles. As soon as they are presented with a question an answer is spouted off because it is either one way or the other. How many times have we all run into this? Too much.
What adventure is there in life if the answers are easy?
What do we have to say we've accomplished if the answers are easy?
How can we say that we are wise if the answers...
Eyes of children all around
Singing, laughing, gleeful eyes.
Eyes of adults to the ground
At loss of child-like mysteries.
Soon I will know what it feels like to leave all of my friends and begin amassing new ones in a foreign place.
I just hope to hold on to friendships and to not forsake the ones I love.
-Amor vincit omnia-
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